3 Reasons Why I Don’t Hunt

About a million years ago, I went on a first date with this guy. When I got into his truck I saw he a gun rack on the back window (I’m pretty sure it’s now illegal to drive around with your shotgun on a gun rack in my neck of the woods, but I’m old, so it was a long time ago!) I gestured to the racks and said “you hunt?” “Oh here we go,” he replied, “poor Bambi, it’s so cruel, blah, blah, blah…” As he was going on and on with what he assumed my point was, I opened my wallet and flashed him big game license. We weren’t even out of my driveway and he learned Rule #1: Don’t ever underestimate me. Truth is, I don’t hunt, but not for the same reasons anti-hunters don’t.

My part of New York isn’t exactly the “Sportsman’s Capital of the World”. I didn’t even start shooting until later in life. I wasn’t exposed to hunting, although my grandfather was an avid deer hunter. I took Hunter Safety when I was 18, because I wanted to and I’ve gotten my Big Game license on and off for years. Every year (including this year) I say maybe this is the year I’ll give it a try.

I was given a beautiful Savage 99E by my grandfather’s best friend after I completed Hunter Safety. He was a huge hunter, outdoorsman and NRA supporter. He also signed me up for an NRA membership! You don’t get gifts like that these days. It’s a beautiful deer rifle and I treasure it to this day.

Now that I’ve been involved with some of the coolest men and women in the industry, maybe someday I’ll get out in the field with one of them. Until then, here’s what’s holding me back:

1. I’m lazy. There, I’ve said it. Hunters are up before dawn, hike miles into the woods, sit still even in inclement weather and love every second of it. Left to my own devices, I’d lie in bed thinking… eh, maybe I’ll go later!
2. I have an irrational fear of snakes. If I venture out into the woods, they WILL find me. I guarantee it. You’ll find my cold, stiff body still clinging to my rifle – dead from a massive heart attack.
3. Mosquitos flock to me like a fly to butter.

So while I’m not a hunter, it grinds my gears when anti-hunters post memes, make outrageous statements on how all hunters should die, etc. These are the very same people who preach organic this and that, post pictures of their delicious steak dinner, but are anti-hunting.

Don’t get me wrong, if you’re a true vegan, I support you 100%. You’re standing up for a cause you believe in, and you’re walking the walk as you talk the talk (wearing your non-leather shoes). However, if you’re anti-hunting but eat meat; you’re a hypocrite. Research where that meat comes from and how those animals are killed. If you’re anti-hunting but wear leather shoes; you’re a hypocrite.  If you’re a vegan, but your son has a leather baseball glove? Yup, you’re a hypocrite. I could write a whole article called “You may be an anti-hunting hypocrite if…” But, I digress… You don’t get more organic then something you’ve harvested yourself. No antibiotics, no hormones and its fresh.

Many of my hunting friends have gotten death threats through social media. Cowards hiding behind their keyboards, calling hunters “cold blooded killers that kill for fun.” Truth is, my hunting friends are some of the most compassionate, animal lovers I know. They don’t “kill for fun” they kill to put food on their table and feed their families. Most say a prayer to thank the animal for providing for their family.

So a shout-out to my bad-ass friends out there providing for their families; hunt on my friends! Maybe someday soon I’ll join your ranks.  And to the meat-eating, anti-hunting hypocrites; bye Felicia.